Sunday, October 6, 2013

Thank You For Sending An Angel

Well.  Let's just say the latest "scare" started with me getting a text at work right after I had gotten out of a meeting with Matt asking for a ride home.  This was about 4 PM on a Friday and while it has been unusual lately for Matt to text me for a ride around this time, it wasn't alarming.  Didn't seem out of the ordinary.

I didn't hear back for about 30 minutes, and again, nothing too much out of the ordinary. I would expect an "Ok" or something in response after texting back that I was in DC and would be leaving soon but honestly, it would be more usual to get something that would evoke a little guilt from my heart.  But nothing.

So am pulling out of my parking garage and get a call from Matt and it takes a full five minutes before my brain can even wrap around what it is he is trying to tell me.  My memory comes in pieces if I think back to the call.  "I'm home."  "Bad low."  "Stranger helped me."  "Didn't have a low."  "I think I'm in liver failure."  "I threw up five times."  "My eyes are yellow."

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

My Horse Won't Drink

My Matt being Matt
It seems that I have become the focal point for whether my "defiant" teen is going to do what he needs to do with his diabetes – or not.

I mentioned in the last blog post that we have a new counselor for Matt, who by happenstance also has type 1 diabetes, and who I also mentioned pump-pushed in the first appointment without knowing the medical and other complicated reasons as to why we are not currently pumping.

Where I started off not being comfortable with him switching to a pump at this point due to my fear of him being out of control in more than a couple of ways and that it could be very dangerous, in the subsequent sessions, where Matt was immediately switched to weekly appointments, decided to 110% support my son and got him squeezed in to the next available pump training even though it was “full” and called my insurance company about their coverage of various devices.  

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Raise Your Hopeful Voice

At this point just need to come to terms with the fact that this blog is for me. Just as I am in person, when things get very stressful I fold in, dig deep and shut people and the world out. It is not my favorite personal trait, and it's hard to see how deep in you go until you start to come out - and thankfully am coming up from things and out from under a deathly load. But as usual, life is a strange, complicated jumble of hope, fear, love and dread.

Welcome to the world of type 1 diabetes with a teenage boy I suppose.  And let's add to that the fact that he and his siblings have lived in the mix of an extremely complicated and stressful "parent" relationship and that I left his father in May.  I was probably about 10 years too late, and while saying that, mean no harm and send only love and light to their father - we are just not good married together.  I was stuck and it literally took at least 10 years of trying and thinking and trying to fix before realizing my only option was to separate.  Not easy when you met at 19 and spent 23 years together, but who suffers the most when this happens?  Well, everyone - including the children.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

On Guitars, Politics and Storms

This is our 2010 JDRF Walk Shirt
I now exclusively raise $ for DRI
Happy World Diabetes Day! I wrote this post about 10 days ago and needed to finish it and thought today would be the perfect day to do so! As I noted on my facebook status today, "It's World Diabetes Day and would sure love a cure for type 1 diabetes. Not another device or devices attached 24/7 that can malfunction or fail. An actual cure. I raise money through selling on eBay for Diabetes Research Institute. It's a drop in the bucket, but it's something. As for Matt, he's logged about 7,650 shots in the last 3.5 years and many many more stabs to his fingertips. The kid is a trooper." As are so many others out there.

So, on to the title of this post:

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

An Acrostic Kind of Day

Boy hates needles and shots
Really has overcome a lot 
All of every one of the last 1,251 days
Vocalizes little, what can I say, he
Expresses himself through music and the guitar he's got

Friday, September 28, 2012

An Assortment of Updates

I have this 2 1/2 page long post that I had planned on posting related to Matt's most recent medical incident - then decided that it was probably best to send to my personal venting file as opposed to posting here.
I do think about this blog often - but in this case will just boil down a few updates from the recent months.
The gist of the long post that I decided not to post is that yes, you get really fast medical care when something comes up and you have type 1 diabetes, and that can be good.  But the reality is that "regular" doctors get a total of 6-8 hours of endocrinology training in medical school and with this somewhat limited medical knowledge of a highly nuanced disease you tend to hear worst case scenario ideas that at once put the fear of god in you while casting doubt as to the intelligence of those who choose to serve others in the medical field.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

DBlog Week Follow Up

I just wanted to post a quick follow up to Diabetes Blog Week to note that I only technically posted a "work-week" worth of blog posts.  I am going to get to the last two day of the week - am just a little off schedule.  I'm sure most d-mom's/d-dad's out there would understand; sometimes life and all the little extra things we do just add up and we can get behind.  I suppose that is the same for everyone.

One of the "regular" reasons that I am behind is we spent the day in Annapolis, MD on Saturday at my Mom's house.  She won a silent auction bid for a photo shoot last fall in support of a local Montessori school, and offered it up for my kids!  So they got all dressed up in white shirts, blue jeans and their bare feet and took some pics with a great photographer, Harriet Manis Adam.  I'll always treasure having happy/connected  teenage pics of my kids - she really put them at ease and got them to be themselves.  A "sneak peek" pic she shared is below and it makes me smile!

Friday, May 18, 2012


Today is Day 5 of DBlog week and the topic is “What is one thing you would tell someone that doesn’t have diabetes about living with diabetes?” We are asked to do some advocating and post what we wish people knew about diabetes. If we have more than one thing we wished people knew? Go ahead and tell everything.

I will tell you (almost) everything:
1. It doesn’t get better.
2. He won’t outgrow it.
3. He didn’t eat too much sugar, his pancreas died.